Good Job

We all need to hear, “Good job.”

It feels good to know that we’ve done something right, that our hard work has paid off.  We put in the effort, and someone noticed.

If we need to hear it, we also need to say it. Praise goes both ways.

Do we say it often enough?  I know I could do better.  People need encouragement, and they might not get it from anyone else but us.

In his classic book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie suggests that we give lavish praise, but he cautions us to ensure that the praise is genuine and specific.  

Fake praise is of little value, and people aren’t fooled.  Honest appreciation, however, will go a long way.

And how often do we give ourselves the gift of praise? Not often enough, and even then, it might come with qualifiers and conditions.

It’s hard to find the balance between being self-indulgent and trying to be your best.  On one hand, we don’t want to become complacent and stop working to improve.  On the other hand, we can’t push ourselves too hard, with no hope of a finish line.

There has to be a sweet spot, where we can praise others and ourselves for the work we’ve done, even if there still is room for growth.  (When isn't there room for growth?) 

We can acknowledge our efforts and accomplishments first, then take a deep breath, and forge ahead.

I once had a boss who missed this valuable life lesson.  

Make no mistake, he was thoroughly dedicated and committed to the work, and he expected a superior level of performance from himself as well as his staff.  He worked just as hard as he asked others to do, so I knew he had integrity.  

All of that was great, however, when he praised his staff, it usually sounded like the following:  “Good work, everyone.  Now we will lift the bar higher and do better the next time.  Be forewarned:  I will expect more from you.”

It was disheartening.  People were enormously frustrated behind the scenes, and he just couldn’t see how his semi-praise made the staff feel.  He thought he was doing the right thing by holding everyone to high standards.  We saw something different: he wanted the super-human, the impossible, and in truth, we could never really “win.”  

We were on good terms, so I tried to talk with him.  When I told him that he kept moving the finish line and making the job harder and harder, he listened, but he just didn’t understand.  

He couldn’t see how his leadership approach was hurtful.  We needed a simple “Good job,” all by itself, before we could set higher goals.  We needed the kind of praise that Dale Carnegie suggested.

In your art, and in your life, look for ways to acknowledge a job well done.  Coworkers, employees, friends and family are all potential recipients.  Don’t forget the children.  You don’t know how much negativity they hear, and how much they want to be appreciated.

And even if nobody else says it to you, be sure to say it to yourself.  You might have a long way to go, but you can find something to genuinely and specifically praise.  Consider all you’ve done so far, and tell yourself, “Good job.”